Orlando Never Ceases to Amaze Me

Wha, wha, what?!?!?!?!  Is Jonathan finally starting to warm up to Orlando "The City Beautiful?"

Let me tell you a story and you decide for yourself:

Everyday when I'm heading back to work for lunch I'm usually running a little late.  "You don't even have to go on with the story, just eat at work and your problem is solved!"  Shut up smartass,  I come home for lunch everyday because I live close by and it gives me a chance to take my dog, Astro, outside for a walk.  You see, I have a heart.

Well, anyway, I was going to make it on time 2 days this week until I got to the last corner.  I can see the building right there...I could probably chuck a rock and break a window if I wanted to.  The problem is that the wonderful city of Orlando places these buttons that the wonderful residents can press to cross the street.  What this button does is that it turns ALL the lights red and gives the a**hole 30 seconds to cross the street.  AWWWWW, how cute right?  WRONG!!!!!  What genius came up with this idea, and who's the wise owl that decided it would be a good idea to approve it?  I don't know if it's the horrible drivers to blame or the pedestrians that don't know how to look both ways.

Seriously, grab a friend that grew up in New Jersey and ask them this.  If you were driving and you were stopped at a red light to turn left/right and there were pedestrians on the corner waiting to cross the street that you were turning into.  What would you do when the light turns green?  Anybody would tell you, pedestrians have the right-of-way, meaning a car can only turn when pedestrians have cleared the street.

Ask the same person, "hey genius from New Jersey,  what would you do if you wanted to get to a store on the other side of the street and it sits right in the middle of the block?  Ahh I stumped you there didn't I?"  Their answer would be a little something like this, "well, my simple minded homosapien, I would look both ways and see if there were no cars coming and then I would put one foot in front of the other until I made it to the store."  HOLY S***, it's a scientific breakthrough.  Hold the phone, because the answer to the Universe has just been discovered!

Back to my story, the person that pressed that god forsaken button, was on a bike...a BIKE for crying out loud.  He made it across the street in 5 seconds, so for 25 seconds every car was stopped at that intersection.

One day I did the unthinkable in Orlando.  I wanted to reach Jersey Mike's, a place that makes subs, across the street from the building where I work.  I don't know how I lived, but I made it across the street using the same knowledge I got in New Jersey.  I looked one way crossed one part of the street, looked the other way and made it across the street in one piece.  Hallelujah, it's a miracle I'm alive and writing this.

God, I love this place.

Do Contra